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Ballon d'essai

by Tak Harlan

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1.
The Pressure 03:16
I wish it was easy to cope, With the feeling it's not enough, That we will never bring 'em down, Being stuck on the battle line. I wish we were more on the verge Of finding some new way to fight, To stood up against all the structures Which maintain the oppressors in place It's not that we don't have the strength, But the power's not in our hands. And we're far from standing together, Even tough we don't handle the pressure. Sometimes I fear they're too strong And way better organized. But it's not because I feel weak That I should not even try There are billions of us, Enslaved by the wage and the fear Of misery if we talk out loud. It's so frightfull to break the line. They got to us And found a way to keep us down below, And make us feel like shit Or feel there's too much to lose, So we won't raise our voices and dig our own graves. I wish we stood together In a punk band or a union, Clear of the norms Which kept us apart It could be our time and it could be a start. On the wrong side of the pressure, I don't lay low. In the background of the picture, We're together, not alone.
2.
I despise you For being everything you're not, For pretending instead of facing the lies. So deal with your life, Don't interfere in mine. I despise you, And I wish you were far. You think you're a step ahead and you're better than every one. You think you found your way so you're not lost anymore. But it's not that crystal clear, Your sudden recovery can't hide the fact that You don't even know what you've done. You speak for others who you try to impersonate, But you're so blind And you don't even see the damage. I'm as selfish as you, but I don't claim I'm not. You're blind and you're deaf, I only wish you were dumb. You've put so many faces that you can't even take on. You're a lie, you're a joke, you're fraud and a scum. You've ruined my nerves and my empty stomach. I'm so pissed that I shake ; I stayed awake all the night. Makes me sick to think we shared the same ideals For which you can't stand for, cause you don't even feel What you've done to me. I live with myself, work out my discrepancies. I suggest you do the same and you don't mess with me. Don't try to lecture me, please don't patronize me, I can't stand no more your fake sincerity During your quest, of forging yourself some new identities, You fought it gave you the right to pretend you care and you got ethics But you don't, no you don't, you don't care. You're an easy friend, but the trust can't hold the lies. You say you stand for the victims, you're a sensitive boy... But you hurt every one 'round you, Disappoint every one 'round you, You lie to every one 'round you.
3.
Focus 02:47
It's too hard to focus More than ten minutes. Even getting asleep Is rather difficult. It's too hard to forget More than five minutes. I can't let it aside Or think of something else. How will I spend the day, and the night, and the day, and the night after ? It's too hard to focus. It's painfull to reason. I can't get it right, Can't let go nor don't care. I can't get to reason. Got mood swings more than ever. I wish I could say so long, but... I can't express the sorrow of my sorry condition.
4.
I barely stand the weight on my shoulder, And the higher and hierarchic pressure, But if hate's all you've got, you ain't gotta let go. I suffer authority as torture, I can't express how much I'm a hater, But when hate's all you've got, you ain't gotta let go. Hate's nothing but it's all I have and it's all you'll get from me. There's people that I hate more than the State, The traitors and the liars and the fake, Cause if hate's all you've got, you ain't gotta let go. Some would act like some backstabber fuckhead, Just like a boss if for their own profit, I hate 'em all my guts, I ain't gonna let go. Guess I got place now... in a bind/daily grind/undermined. They say anger and hate must be contained, But it's what's pushing me outside the frame. Well if hate's all you've got, you ain't gotta let go. And if it's all it takes I take the blame, I take the shame and focus on my aim, Because hate's all I've got, I ain't gonna let it go.
5.
I still got the knife You throw me from behind. I still got the hope I will throw it back. When you least expect it, it will cut your flesh, Tear your hopes in half... You better bear it in mind. My wounds are cut so deep, I don't know if that's morphine I need, But you'll need plenty when I wreck your head, if you ever make it. I never saw your game, before you played me for a fool, But you won't see me coming, and you soon will be crawling, if you ever make it. You better, better bear it in mind, I won't forget, I'll get to you. I might have been quite down, even now I'm not sure I'm better, But you'll never get up when I break you down, if you ever make it. I'm still a bit shaken, it turned my head and my stomach, But I might get both of those, and with the knife down your throat, we'll see if you make it. There's no word to describe all the hurt I will do, When you'll cry, and you'll beg for the pain you'll endure. Broken nose, broken legs, I'll let you no bones left, You'll be crushed, you'll be torned, you will wait for your death. You'll be sad, I'll be glad and a glorious night, Will glow over your pride, like the stars in my eyes. I will stare and rejoy by the sound of despair, I will drain all your veins, I will drive you insane. And if somebody else is messing with your mind, I will praise 'em to be sadistic and unkind. I only wish you some tragic end all alone, I will haunt you 'till then, I won't stop 'till you're gone.
6.
Do you remember when were so close, To hit the cops rows which would interpose ? Do you remember all the nights we spent, Building our knowledge about what we hate ? I do remember the bond that we have, Is more than friendship or some political tie. I worship every minute that we share, All my issues vanish into thin air. Whe learnt together critical thinking, Questionning the things which were established. We grew much stronger, as we tried to free Ourselves from the fetters of the enemy. Do you know how much your position counts, When I'm in doubt or when nothing makes sense ? I care about what you say and you do, Cause I know I can often rely on you. We're going together with nothing to prove Each other no more for what we've been through. Free from the fetters of the select few, We band of fighters common views value. We might again find ourselves at crossroads. There might be trouble ahead as far as we know. Time will try stem the tide of our goals. As long as we know our side nothing will put us down. Nothing will put us down. Free from the fetters, forever now... Nothing will put us down, Nothing will wipe off what we had.

about

"They say in Harlan County, there are no neutrals there."

credits

released May 17, 2014

Recorded live & mixed by Ted @Ted's flat - Strasbourg (FR) in April 2014.
Additional vocals and special thanks to my friends Ted Moody & Flo Chmod.

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Tak Harlan Strasbourg, France

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